Awakened Living TV-"Healing Collective Trauma"

Beware the Ideas of March

Image: "Through the Fence" by Lisa Gale Garrigues

It's March, uh-huh, and here come all those dangerous little ideas that spring forth like budding leaves and flowers...like hmm, maybe I need to change my socks, I've been wearing them all winter. (ok that was metaphor folks my feet really don't stink that bad :)) Or maybe I need to change my attitude, or my home, or my job, or my lover, or get a new lover if I don't have one, or maybe I just need to change my mind about what I thought I knew all winter and now seems all wrong, the comfortable sock of the mind that I have gotten so used to. It is spring, and the wind tickles the canyons and cactus and astroturf inside my brain, urging me to slip out of my bag of comfort and go forth, into the world, with or without mind-socks, bare-brained if need be, like the beginner, the beginner's mind, the sprout of knowing that only knows to grow and nothing more.

Sometimes the dangerous change of spring is slow, almost imperceptible, like the struggle of the green leaf against the red fence, and then suddenly, pop there it is, doing like James Thurber when he said, "The Best Way Out is Always Through."

So yes, it's time. Time to burst through your red fences and into the open air where the green breathes free,

I will  meet you  there, maybe for a cup of coffee,  not the lousy kind the French call 'sock coffee', but one that has the exquisite taste that only the early days of spring can provide.

Happy Ideas of March.

Some Reasons I Woke Up At 4:30AM

Because I couldn't sleep.

Because the upstairs overnight guest was walking on my head.

Because my body says I have slept enough.

Because the view of lights and branches was stark and quiet and beautiful from the upper deck of the house.

Because the coffee tasted good.

Because my cat wanted to get up too.

Because, sitting upstairs with the taste of coffee on my lips and the view of lights and branches quiet all around me,

inexplicable joy.


(photo by D Sharon Pruitt www.pinksherbert.com)

Japan and The Dream of Water, revisited

It seems like weeks since the Japanese earthquake and tsunami hit, yet it has really only been hours. It seems like weeks because it has been difficult to tear myself away from the news and videos about this tragedy...I feel as if I am living it,moment by moment, with them. Suddenly the people in Japan, a country I have never visited, feel like my next door neighbors.

I wanted to write about the combination of awe and horror and compassion that I experience when I see that wave of water washing through whole cities. But then I realized I already had--six years ago, when I sent an email out about a 'prophetic' dream I had before another Asian Tsunami.

So here it is, from January, 2005:

Friends,

It is New Year's Day and we are surrounded by a tidal
wave.

On television and in our memories, the images
continue:
the rushing wall of water, the cars, buildings and
bodies floating in the swollen sea, fragile and
temporary as children's toys. The faces of pain, loss
and anguish are our faces. National boundaries are
dissolved, at least momentarily, as we send love,
financial support, healing.

Because my dreams are frequently wiser than I am, I
want to share a dream with you that I had about a week
before the Asian Tsunami hit.

In the dream I am on the beach with a group of
international students from the school where I teach
English as a Second Language. The students are from
all over the world. Suddenly a huge tidal wave
arrives and we are all running along the beach in
panic. I see something metallic floating in the water,
a vehicle of some kind. I think in my dream that it
could be some kind of military vehicle, like a car or
a plane or boat. It is clear to me that this vehicle
was made by man in a moment of self-importance, and it
is now utterly useless, bobbing helplessly along on
the water.

We all run away from the water and manage to reach
"higher ground." We are then all huddled inside a
room together, feeling fear but also deeply connected
to each other, and relieved that we are safe. One of
my Muslim students comes over to me, and I put my arm
around him, feeling a wave of love and compassion.

I woke up from this dream, asking, as I usually do of
dreams, what it was saying to me:

There is something more powerful than you, the dream
said. Maybe you should pay attention.

Your technology and the shiny vehicles that get you
through your life are useless in the face of this
power, the dream said.

It is the power of water, the dream said. it is
feminine, emotional, receptive, illogical,
mysterious, compassionate, ruthless, ferocious,
cleansing. It is running the blood of your veins and
in the ocean that links continent to continent. It is
the Tsunami and it is the wave of healing that
follows.

Maybe you should pay attention, the dream said.

It is the power of Mother Nature, the dream said,
seeking to balance all her elements, no matter how
horrific the sacrifice. With so many man-made fires
and explosions raging on the earth right now, it it
any wonder she chooses to respond with water?

Maybe you should pay attention, the dream said.

Look around you, the dream said, those people with
their different languages and religions are all
huddled in the same fragile room with you.

Find the person in the room who is most unlike you,
the dream said, the person who is supposed to be your
enemy, and reach out to him or her in compassion.

If there is a god, the dream said, he or she exists
not in the labels we have assigned, but in this
gesture, in this stretching of the heart.

You are alive, the dream of water said , and this is
a gift that can be taken away at any time.

Maybe you should pay attention.


Love,

Lisa

Spirit of the Seventh Chakra

The chakra class I was teaching has ended, and the seventh chakra has been hanging over my head ever since.

Exactly where it belongs of course, since traditionally this is the chakra of the Crown, the chakra where spirit enters through the top of your head and ideally, fills you with its 'ineffable knowing.'

In traditions I've studied if this chakra is clear you walk with certainty and purpose and a sense of spirit within. Blocks and imbalances here might manifest as dysfunctional ideas about religion, attachments to gurus who really want your attachment more than your freedom, or a seventh chakra that is too wide open to all sorts of spiritual influences that cannot be practically grounded in your day to day life.

The Seventh Chakra has also been hanging over my head because although the class ended several weeks ago I have yet to post and write about it.

So here it is. Seems fitting to have waited until after the winter holidays, a time when many people throughout the world celebrate major religious holidays--Christmas, Hannukah, Winter Solstice. Interesting to me that in the northern hemisphere it is the darkest time of year when we are most drawn to celebrating spirit. (Actually in the south this is true too--the Incan honoring of the sun, Inti Raymi, is celebrated in June.)

The trap of any religion or spiritual 'system' seems to be its own dogma. So if you chance upon this blog and enjoy reading what I've posted about the chakras and the chakra class I've been teaching, be sure to print it out, read it carefully, then burn it and walk away.

Happy New Year.

Visions of the Sixth Chakra

The Sixth, or brow, Chakra. The 'third eye'. Located at the forehead, just above the place where the eyebrows meet. Related to the eyes, the brain, the pineal gland.

This is the place where visions are formed---our vision of ourselves and of the world around us. These 'pictures' that we have created can influence everything we do, feel, and are--they are the results of the beliefs that we carry around, beliefs that may have been formed when we were children or even before. It is the place of dreams and perceptions.

In my experience teaching classes in energy work, there are some people who seem to be natural clairvoyants--a French word for 'clear seers'. They form pictures in their mind, and can often see the energy of other people in pictures that are formed in their mind. When they come to class, they are frequently just looking for validation for something that they already know how to do.

The other group of people do not consider themselves 'clairvoyant' and don't have a third eye that fills up readily with all kinds of images, but they would like to be.

It has been my experience, that with training, this second group can learn to 'see' with their third eye. But it is frequently a long process. And the second group often has other intuitive gifts--clairsentients who sense rather than see the energy of others, massage therapists whose hands 'just know' where to go, etc.

In some traditions, when 'psychic powers' arise as a result of intensive meditation, it is said to be best to just ignore them. There is wisdom in this--the risk of seeing oneself as 'more special' than others because of intuitive gifts, the risk of losing sight of the ultimate goal of spiritual enlightenment or balanced awareness in the pursuit of 'psychic superpowers'.

I am one of those people who have always had a constant stream of images running like a movie on the screen of my 'third eye' and remember how shocked I was to realize that not everybody has this.

For people with a highly developed sixth chakra, the challenge is usually in grounding these visions in a practical or creative way. Visionaries who don't find a path to the manifestation of their visions can sometimes find themselves feeling like marginalized misfits, dreamers who have nowhere to share their gifts. On an energetic level, the task is to balance and clear the energy in the lower chakras so that the magnificent visions of these people can be actualized.

Cultivating a stronger relationship to earth, body and/or creativity is a good place to start. So, paradoxically, in order for a highly developed sixth chakra to be truly effective, it is the lower chakras that need to be healed.

Speaking True: The Fifth Chakra

Our world and daily lives often require many voices of us; the voice we use at work, the voice we use with our friends and family, the voice we use with ourselves.

If we are clear and balanced, we will be able to speak authentically to ourselves and to others. That's what he fifth chakra, the throat or communication chakra is about. When it is out of balance or blocked, we feel stifled with our communication with ourselves and others, we are not speaking our truth. This can lead either to choked silence and a voice within ourselves that never gets heard, or, on the other extreme, to endless chattering to fill the scary truths that might emerge from a few moments of silence. Listening is as much a part of the fifth chakra as speaking, something that is not often mentioned.

Throat and thyroid problems are often linked to imbalances in fifth chakra energy. In my own life, I have looked at how my thyroid health might relate to the health of my fifth chakra and my abilities to articulate my truth. As a writer, teacher and communicator, my entire life has 'pointed to' the fifth chakra as the one that holds both the most challenges and the most treasures--so it's also not surprising that in my coaching and energy healing practice I have tended to attract and work with people with 'fifth chakra issues'.

Questions that arose in the class: What do you need to say to yourself? What do you need to say to others?

The Power of the Third Chakra

Moving on up, we have arrived this week at the third chakra in the chakra course I am teaching.

The third chakra is located at the solar plexus.

This is the 'energy pump' for the rest of the energy body, as well as the place where we experience our individual power. Power is a word that is rife with connotation, some good, some bad, but if we think of the power of the third chakra in a more neutral way, like the power provided by a lightbulb in a dark room, or the power of an engine in a car, we can detach a bit from the 'ego' part of power and still allow ourselves to appreciate our own uniqueness, individuality and the ability to manifest that in the world.

Here is my favorite quote, from Marianne Williamson, about manifesting our own power:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Second Chakra: The Passion of Orange

Last week was an orange week. First the flickering orange of Halloween pumpkin light decorating the steps and windows of city buildings, then the Giants winning the World Series and the streets of downtown San Francisco erupting in crowds of fans wearing the orange and black colors of the team, and of course the burnt and brilliant oranges and golds of autumn warming the autumn sky. ( And autumn IS warm in San Francisco--it's our Indian Summer.)

Orange is also the traditional color of the second chakra, which was our focus in the last class. Someone asked me yesterday how the chakras got associated with certain colors. I have no idea. To me it just seems to be a logical progression--the denser lower chakras are associated with the denser, warmer colors and the higher,lighter chakras with the cooler blues and purples. One person I read has an interesting theory about the colors moving from the hot red lava of the center of the earth (first chakra) out through the warm orange and yellow of the second and third to the green of the grass growing on the earth's surface on to the blues and indigos and purples of the sky.

Whatever its origin, orange seems an appropriate color for this chakra having to do with creativity, sexual relationship and emotion. It is traditionally where we hold and express our passion, as well as any conflicts or obstacles associated with areas of our life that we are passionate about. The class, appropriately enough, felt lighter and warmer and more playful than the very grounded first chakra class last week.

Naturally, we all reflected on successes and obstacles associated with our own creativity and to creating meaningful and appropriate relationships. I am always astonished at how quickly, when given a chance, our own intuition can deliver up insight and direction.

In my own meditation, I was offered a gift--a ripe and juicy orange.

It's helpful to remember that this passionate gift of creativity and meaningful relationship is always there, all around us, ready to be peeled and tasted.

The First Chakra and Ganesh

The eight week course on the Chakras that I'm teaching is off to a great start, with a wonderful group of people whose backgrounds include flower essences, dream shamanism, EFT, personal organizing, massage and more. As usual, I am learning much from the people who have brought their gifts to the class.

The first week was an overview of the Chakras, with some energetic, meditative and creative exercises. Last week we worked on the first chakra, which has to do with grounding, support, shelter, finances, the physical body. I am posting this image of Ganesh, who in the Hindu tradition is the deity of the first chakra. Ganesh is also known as the remover of obstacles, and has brought me this past week a great deal of opportunity to reflect on when and how I put my attention on obstacles rather than solutions. The removal of obstacles is often a simple shift or liberation of attention which brings the solution home.

Thank you, Ganesh!

The Chakras: Your Seven Core Energies

Image: Ik Ongkar-Chakras, by Ranbassi




I am excited about the new class I will be teaching this month. Here’s the description:

Your 7 Core Energies: Cultivating the Power of the Chakras.

--Enhance your ability to perceive your own energy and the energy of others
- Discover your unique energy gifts
- Clear internal obstacles to relating authentically to others and manifesting your gifts in the world

In this course, we will use the chakras, the ‘spinning wheels of light’ that make up the energy body, to guide us on the journey to our own wisdom. We will combine techniques of meditation and energy perception with practical and creative exercises that allow you to cultivate your abilities in Grounding, Creating, Power, Love, Communication, Seeing, and Knowing. Open to beginners as well as those with some experience in energy healing and the chakra system.

When: Mondays 7-9:30PM, October 18- December 6, 2010
Where: 36th Avenue near Balboa (call for exact location.) San Francisco
Cost: $265


My own studies of the chakra system began when I was thirteen and started meditation practice. These studies were further developed in my training in Reiki and in clairvoyant healing classes in San Francisco.

I initially developed and taught a variation of this course in Cusco, Peru, to tourists and local residents. I am always delighted to see how easily we westerners can come into our own wisdom using this ancient Eastern energy system.


To register, email me at lisagarrigues@yahoo.com

I look forward to seeing you there!

The Sidhe Have Visited My Room Again

I was inspired by watching a documentary about the poet Gary Snyder at tonight's San Francisco Film Festival to return to my poetic roots and post a poem instead of prose.





(Originally published as "The Visit" in So To Speak, George Mason University, Winter/Spring, 2002)



The Sidhe have visited

my room again, moved the pieces

of furniture, left footprints

all along my floor and walls.

Petals from a strange and sudden

flower still float on the water

in my sink of dirty dishes.

It is morning and I

press my face against the air

trying to see in. The room is quiet.







My great-grandmother was small

and dark, and nobody knows

where she came from. Learn

from me, she says in her night voice

the web of moon cast

upon the earth. Feel it

trembling in your fingers

like a fisherwoman's net, and pull

the silver fish upon the shore.

They are heavy,but they are all

yours, every one of them speaking

an undiscovered language.



There is singing, the Sidhe said

brushing their lips against my ears.

It is all

Around There is a symphony

of wild sound beneath the surface.

Unmeasured and chaotic, the river

is always longer and wider than

you thought, and the bridge is never

where you expect it to be.



The Sidhe have come and gone.

They have rearranged the night

taken off my skin

and folded the difference

into my bones.







My great-grandmother lays the fish upon the sand

the ones with torn bellies and gaping mouths

the ones with knowing eyes

the ones already turning into flowers

She moves her tongue behind her teeth

and names them, one by one.





It is morning, and I am full

of forgetting. I drain the water

from the sink and begin to wash

the dishes. A single petal clings

to white porcelain. I leave it.

The rushing water sings. And I

in my waking slumber hum

the dim memory of an aching

distant music.



The ocean breaks.

My great-grandmother with her muscled arms

pulls, and hauls the net upon the shore.

Silver scales still luminous in dark waters.

Learn to cast the web of moon upon the sea.

And bring the fishes home, she says.

They are all yours.



---Lisa Gale Garrigues





Image: "Sidhe Queen" by Angie Bowen.

EFT: That tapping thing

Street Conjurer
Originally uploaded by ojodorado

I've been hearing great things about a therapy called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, so I decided to try it out. I went to an EFT group where the facilitator showed us how it works and led us in a few rounds of it. On the surface, it's extremely simple--you simply tap on certain points of your body which are supposed to be 'meridian points' and repeat out loud or to yourself whatever issue it is your working on as you tap. The idea is that this repeated tapping clears your energy flows of emotional blockages so that you can be happier, healthier and all that other good stuff. It's supposed to work with physical problems as well, based on the principal that emotions and body are intimately connected.

So here's my verdict: it works. At first you may feel a little silly tapping along, singing Birthday Songs and counting from one to five as you are instructed to do.
But here are some interesting studies that have given some scientific credibility to the work, as well as one that is much more critical.

How is it, you may ask, that emotional issues that people have spent thousands of dollars and hours in therapy trying to resolve appear to disappear with a few well placed taps?

Something about energy meridians? Maybe. The placebo effect? Why not. You feel so silly tapping and singing along that you want to laugh and forget your problems? Could be.

How about this: We are ready for it. It's my belief that certain memes make their way into the collective human consciousness when we are ready to receive them. Like The Secret, and the Law of Attraction, which despite my criticism in the previous post, have managed to shift a whole lot of people away from 'victimhood' to 'empowerment' in a way that is simple and easy to digest.

The underlying philosophy of EFT seems to be that healing can be easier and faster than we think. That to me, is a huge leap forward.

The Shadow of "The Secret"

(photo: Lisa Gale Garrigues)


When the book and movie "The Secret" came out, I thought, "Well this is really nothing new, it's just packaged in a new and zippy way."

There is a lot about "The Secret" and the "Law of Attraction" that I like, the fundamental part being that it encourages us to take more responsibility for our lives, examine our own 'self-talk', and move out of victim mode into creativity, hope and possibility.

However, at it's worst it's a cream puff philosophy that encourages magical, egocentric thinking and flattens the human condition into a simplistic polarity of good and bad,

as in the following from 100 quotes from The Secret:

16. We don't need to complicate all the "reasons" behind our emotions. It's much simpler than that. Two categories .. good feelings, bad feelings.

17. Thoughts that bring about good feelings mean you are on the right track. Thoughts that bring about bad feelings means you are not on the right track.

or:

14. EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted .. accept that fact .. it's true.

15. Your thoughts cause your feelings

--------------------------------------------------------

26. It's important to feel good ( ( ( (((good))) ) ) )

27. You can change your emotion immediately .. by thinking of something joyful, or singing a song, or remembering a happy experience.

While "The Secret" moves us into taking greater responsibility for our happiness, it leaves out some pretty important bits, as far as I'm concerned. One is just plain old fashioned compassion. All too often, I've heard people use The Secret and The Law of Attraction to a) convince themselves that the world revolves around themselves and their needs, and b)that they can run from any responsibility for making the world or their neighbor's world a better place, because after all, bad things only happen because on some level we have attracted them to us by our thoughts.

"Ew," somebody said recently when told that a friend had developed cancer. "Why would she want to attract THAT to her?"

The reasons for 'attracting' cancer to oneself may be multiple--you may have lessons to learn from the cancer, you may learn through it to develop compassion for others, you may just be ready to call it quits, or maybe it had something to do with the asbestos in that office building you worked in for all those years.

Our response to tragedy or difficulty in our life or the lives of others can enrich us or shrink us. If one's only response it, "Aw gee, I guess I--or she or he--just didn't think enough positive thoughts---then that to me is shrinking us, not enriching us."

The other important bit "The Secret" and "the Law of Attraction" seems to leave out is the human shadow, which is that part of ourselves that we do not want to own consciously--our 'bad' thoughts and feelings like anger, fear, shame, etc. This shadow is not easy to face, but it is packed with power if we do face it and embrace it within ourselves in a compassionate way. After we have faced it, then we can loosen its hold on us, and perhaps even let parts of it go completely. But running from it, even if we think we are doing ourselves a service by 'not thinking negative thoughts' only makes it bigger.

Here is a beautiful example of one person's struggle with "The Secret", and with her own shadow, from a sassy atheist blog called Heaving Dead Cats:

"I developed this fear that my thoughts controlled my husband’s success or failure at driving to and from work. If I had a worry based on the weather conditions that he might have an accident, I would panic and had to tell him to drive carefully, and I had to think only positive thoughts while he was on the road. This became an obsession in which I had to tell him to drive carefully before leaving or he would crash. It didn’t have anything to do with his driving skill, the safety of our well-maintained car, or anything else. It was all down to my thoughts. The problem is, the more I tried to avoid thinking about accidents the more they filled my mind. If he did have an accident it would have been my fault entirely. It wouldn’t have anything to do with the stupid deer that stand in the road, the patch of black ice, or the idiot that stopped dead at a green light because he was texting his girlfriend.

This then led to other obsessive thoughts that seemed to be incredibly important for our happiness and safety. Innocent random thoughts became terribly important. Mild concerns harbored doom if they weren’t countered with positive thoughts. A mild and common worry about leaving the coffee pot on would lead to thinking of the house burning down, a brief worry that would turn into a horrid panic. I had just sealed my fate by having that flash in my mind. It doesn’t help that my mind is graphic and vivid in technicolored detail for such things. That only led me to believe I actually had power over such events."

If you've lost a good friend or family member, if you've been diagnosed with an incurable disease, or if you're just suffering some day to day human drama, thinking all the positive thoughts in the world and singing happy songs ain't always gonna cut it. Grief and tears, anger and rants, can be cathartic--if we allow ourselves to feel and let go of these emotions, then we can move into a more purified state where our whole being is enlisted to bring us more light.

Shadow makes light visible.

Swine Flu: The Real Disease is Fear

The Mask
Originally uploaded by ojodorado

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went...
"Wee wee wee" all the way home...

The world is all a twitter with swine flu, going 'wee 'wee wee' from coast to coast and continent to continent over the developing news of this pandemic.

We've had two cases all ready in the Bay Area,and yes, I do find myself looking askance at people when they cough,especially if they are sitting next to me.

I don't like getting sick any more than the next person, and I suspect we are going to be dealing with this for awhile, and that it is going to challenge us in both the individual and the collective sense.

The twitter comments are revealing

YumYucky: Swine flu has hit the University of Delaware campus, which is only a few miles from my home. I bought masks to have on hand for my family.

kvikks: New swine flu feared to be weaponized strain - http://bit.ly/r5I1Z (expand)
less than 10 seconds ago from TweetDeck · Reply · View Tweet

shorty_jooce: OMG SWINE FLU EVERYWHERE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
2 minutes ago from web · Reply · View Tweet

But, let's face it: on some level, we LIKE to be afraid. If we didn't, we wouldn't have so many movies and tv shows featuring horror, suspense, and brand-new cars hurtling into the air at 100 mph.

So, when something like swine flu comes along it's a great opportunity to participate in our very own horror movie: "How bad is it gonna get?" "Do I have it?" "Will I get it?"

At a recent visit to a game store the other day, the owner told us that the most popular game these days was called "Pandemic."

"And," he added, "what's really unique about this game is that it's not a competitive game, it's cooperative."

Another aha moment.

So, while we're all putting on our face masks and avoiding each other like, um, the plague, I hope we can remember how to play the game.

Coraline, Flordemayo, and the Day of The Feminine

Two Young Girls
Originally uploaded by ojodorado

Blue haired girl confronts evil button eyed Spidermom in Coraline, a creepy animated fantasy that takes us through scary tunnels and stirs up psychological ambivalence about Good Mom/Bad Mom.

Caroline, who is stuck with a couple of imperfect parents--an irritable Mom and a tipsy inefectual Dad, finds a secret door in her house that leads to what seems to be the Perfect Family. . .

Though the animation--- complete with dancing mice, cotton candy cannonballs, stripper trapeze artists,and unraveling worlds---was fascinating to watch,and Coraline was appropriately courageous, the overall creepiness of the film left me with a bad taste in my mouth. And no,it wasn't the popcorn. Even her real parents were pretty creepy.

Afterwards, I went to a healing meditation given by one of the 13 indigenous grandmothers, FlordeMayo, a woman of Mayan ancestry and very powerful healing abilities. After a group meditation,she said that yesterday, in the Mayan calendar, was the Day of the Feminine. Also the day of Empowerment, and of following the Laws of the ancestors.

What an interesting contrast Flordemayo was, in her incredibly healing and feminine power, to both the evil Spidermom and the irritable "real" mom of Coraline.

Her presence was more potent than anything she said, but a couple of good reminders stuck with me: the importance of surrender, and "If you know something, it's your responsibity to share it."

Ear-cupuncture

Yesterday I went to the "How Berkeley Can You Be?" Festival and watched the crazycostumed Berkeleyites dance and prance around MLK park. (Photos forthcoming)

Ah yes, it's good to be home...

After dancing and prancing around a bit myself, I sat down on a wooden bench and had some needles inserted into my ears.
I'm great at giving advice to other people about getting acupuncture, but have yet to try it myself. And yes, it works....!

My energy is returning, my arm is healing, and my unabashed photo passion continues. I'll get back to more "serious" writing eventually--or I won't---but for now, I'm having fun.

The Color of Ash

Alejandro is one of my Q'ero teachers. He's fifty six, and radiates the peace, humility and warmth I have seen in other Qero elders. His sister, another one of my teachers, is Maria Apasa Machaca, said to be the only Altomisayoq (high level Andean healer)left in the Qero nation, and definitely the only female Altomisayoq in a long time. To become an Altomisoyoq, you usually have to be hit by lighting three times. Maria seems to have survived it well. She's in her eighties, strong and vigorous. Alejandro tells me his mother had him when she was sixty, and lived to be over a hundred. That's how good the air is in the high Andes.

Alejandro also tells me that in the Qero Nation you have to be at least thirty before you can begin studying to be a pampa misayoq (Qero healer) and not everyone can do it.

We speak in a combination of his limited Spanish and my very limited Quechua. "You have to have luck (suerte) to become a pampa misayoq. Another pampa misayoq will read the coca leaves for you and let you know if you can take that path."

Today I performed a despacho with him, really the first that I undertook on my own, with his supervision. As usual I was impressed with the beauty and elegance of the process, a kind of artful unfolding of petals, coca leaves, seeds, candies and other items, as well as a powerful energetic connection with the forces of nature.

Actually putting the elements into the despachos with my own hands gave me a greater feel for each distinctive energy I was working with the apu masculine energy being quite different from the female pacha mama.

Alejandro and I don't seem to need to say much to acknowledge the energy of this work. "Allinta," he'll say. "It's good."

After making the despachos, we burned them both in the patio, in a small coal burning pot that I use to heat the house. We sat for a long time with the fire, praying, then he left me alone to pray on my own. After the fire burned down the pot had a fine white ash in it.

"VERY good," Alejandro said. "I didn´t expect it to be this good. I expected some black."

I was pleased. If you pay attention, you learn after awhile that what has long been called "superstition" is actually reading the language of nature: in the flight of a hawk or condor, in the visit of a spider, in the color of ash.

More than anything else I feel a deep sense of happiness after ceremony with the Qeros. Having escaped to the high Andes during the Spanish conquest they are carriers of an energy that is amazingly powerful and uncontaminated, a wisdom and innocence combined. It's not a head wisdom, but a heart wisdom. Somewhere I read that the Qero teachings contain an opening of different energy "eyes" that we have in our energetic field. Though none of my teachers have mentioned this, it is something that you simply begin to feel after awhile. Unlike Western teachings there seems to be little need to discuss analyze or evaluate the teachings one receives or experiences energetically.

I'm okay with that.

With the Q'ero: Emptiness and Laughter

After having talked about it for awhile, I finally hauled myself up the mountains to visit the Q'ero, a remote and traditional nation that live in stone huts at 17,000 feet high. Until the 1950's, the Q'ero were pretty much left alone, except for the criollo hacenderos, or land-owners, who somehow managed to find them, give them Spanish names, cut their hair, and of course, put them to work in less than favorable conditions. The story that I had heard until my visit was that the Q'ero were the "Last of the Incas", untouched by "modern" civilization, but it's not clear to me just how remote they were if the hacenderos managed to get to them.

Recently, the Q'ero have been made famous by books by Alberto Villoldo and other writers, who have described their healing techniques and connected them to Europeans and North Americans. This has had some effect on the communities, with community members competing with each other for the tourist dollar and unqualified people offering "despachos", or ceremonies, to tourists. But despite this, the Q'ero people that I met still have a remarkable depth and openness, very refreshing in the commercialized hustle that Cusco has become. The very thin mountain air was also refreshing, even though three of the four of us who went to the communities from Cusco managed to get sick with some kind of stomach thing.

The trip was two days by car and horse to the first village, and then another day to the second.
While I was suffering from the stomach stuff, a local pampa misoyoq, or curandero , did a despacho for me, but I was too out of it to really see what was going on. The next day I began to feel better. A few days later, two other pampa misoyoq did one despacho each for three of us.
Very powerful work. That night I "dreamed" that the energy of the apu had entered and cleansed me. It was four o'clock in the morning, we're all lying in our sleeping bags in the stone hut of one of the curanderos. The apu told me in the dream to raise my hands to receive the energy, which I did. Afterwards, I had this almost irresistible urge to laugh out loud. This is what it feels like to be healed, I thought: emptiness, happiness, laughter.

Since my return I have managed to hold onto a new feeling of balance and clarity, even amidst the tug and pull of Cusco. Añay, Bernadino. Añay, Modesto, Añay, Lorenzo. Añay los apus.
Thank you.